I was determined not to let the treatments overtake my life completely.  I had to quit using the TV as a crutch.  It was keeping me inside and allowing characters to invade my dream sequence.  as I said, I was going through some intense moments, but I didn't let the emotions become visible to others.  I think that the only giveaway was my skin.  It started to look dull as the weeks went by.  I felt as though I was looking a bit more drawn in the face although no one commented.  I had also gained some weight because of the steroids I was being given.  I didn't gain a huge amount of weight, but it was enough to have me wearing a size 8 at one point.  I am normally a size 4.
With some diseases, vanity is the first thing to go, but not cancer.  It was important for me to attempt to maintain my outward appearance so I got up, got dressed, and put on my makeup each day.  If you look good, you feel good!  I could not afford to have anything derail my spirit.